I write because I love to write. It’s one of those deep down, “I have to do it or I might explode,” type of urges. There have been nights when I’ve already crawled beneath the covers and quite literally have to get up and start writing because I can’t go to sleep until I vomit my ideas out on paper (or in most cases, onto the computer screen). Sometimes, the things I write are deep and insightful. Other times, they’re just a jumbled rush of half-thought out ideas with a title slapped on top.
I’ve always had a desire for significance. I think we all do. We want people to look at us and say “You know _______ he/she is great at ___________.” We want to be known. We want to be valued. We want to be appreciated.
And that is where blogging has been both a blessing and a burden. I pour my heart into a post and then I wait.
“Will they like it?”
“Will it make a difference?”
“Does anyone even care?”
In this social media driven world, we bloggers know that to build an audience we have to connect with our readers. Honestly, it’s something I really enjoy doing. So I share a blog post on Twitter or on Facebook and I wait some more.
Ok, let’s be honest, I stalk the posts – waiting for some affirmation. I check back to see if it has been “liked” or “shared” or if anyone has left a comment.
I treat those little “likes” like a tip jar. Emotional currency.
I have to stop.
I can’t wrap up my worth in whether or not people show up at my blog. I can’t get depressed when only fifteen people read a blog post that took an hour to write (darn you google analytics for telling me the truth). I can’t get depressed when I know that half of the people who read the post HAVE to because they’re related to me.
I guess the problem is that in my own mind I think I’m doing something special – that the world should take notice of what I have to say. The truth is, I’m one of many. So many of us have something to say and only a few people to say it to. . . .and that’s OK.
If there’s one thing I’ve been learning over the last few years it’s to be faithful where you are, with what you’ve been given. God has an amazing way of rewarding faithfulness – even if it’s nothing more than “entering into the joy of your Master.”
When I’m faithful with the little things, writing to an audience of One, He’s able to take my little and make it much. He’s able to open doors and opportunities that I only imagined – and as cliche as that sounds, it really has happened. My worth isn’t found in what I do, my success or my failure, but in what He’s done. He looks for willing hearts, to use the “weak things of this world to shame the strong.” I’m glad that He works that way.
So, even if no one cares, I’m still going to keep writing, because I know in my heart that it’s what I was created to do. It’s the “talent” God has entrusted to me, and one day I’ll stand before him and return to Him the investment. My prayer is that I will hear these words:
Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness! (Matthew 25:23)
Even if no one else cares . . . He does.
Hi, just in from UBC – it is nice to see comments, or even get some 'likes' but I find the fun in also writing, even if sometimes it is inane drivel! But, it makes me happy 🙂
I've been blogging for years and I still have that "Are people reading this?" stalking the post habit. Oy. lol I am very OCD when it comes to my blog. And when someone comments, I get all excited.
Yet at the same time, odd enough, if no one comes and no one comments, I just shrug it off and keep my fingers xx'ed the next post will have a better response.
Boy, do I know this feeling! But there's also an element of practice here. Practice in the sense of learning–with every post you get better at writing, at blogging, at finding things you want to say or perfecting the way to say them.
But it sounds to me like there's also a practice here of the more spiritual kind. With every post, there's an opportunity to remind yourself that the feedback doesn't count, that it's not a sign of your worth, that it probably isn't a sign of anything more than how busy other folks are.
That last one sounds like a pretty darn good practice to me.
Thanks for the comment. 🙂 You are so right, Nancy. If nothing else, writing blog posts helps me find my voice and hone my skills. I've heard some authors say that the most valuable part of writing is what you learn about yourself in the process. Thanks for stopping by.
I know how that is, even when I just had the dumb family blog with pictures of Jake. I was sad when nobody commented. But I know if others are like me, they're usually only looking at blogs on Google Reader or the like, and never actually go to the site. You probably have a bunch more like that that never get counted. You're doing a great job Sarah! Keep it up and don't get discouraged!
Thanks for writing. I was just talking to Dad this morning about this very thing — about posts I've written! So often YOU are my voice and say the things that I identify with. (Could we be related?) Thank you for your honesty and insight, and I read your posts, not because you're my daughter, but because they are GOOD!!
Hi Sarah,
I love this post and it nicely sums up what many of us feel. There's a real struggle in finding your Voice, sharing that Voice and hoping someone hears your Voice. We can easily get caught up in the gratification that comes with others recognizing and responding the words that we have so carefully crafted. But we do have to find comfort and solace in knowing that even though our voice may have gone unheard or unnoticed, at least we had the courage and ability to share it. We put it out there for others, like a well thought out gift…it's up to everyone else to accept it or not.
I accept you…I hear you!
Love~
I agree. It can be disheartening when few folks read your favorite posts!
But the beauty may be found in the expression itself. Readers are a bonus.
Happy A-Z! Visiting from the Ultimate Blog Challenge FB group.
Flier and flyer – Mixed messages and misused words from A to Z
I read your posts, mom 🙂 Maybe you can hop on over and do a guest post on my blog from time to time <3
That's true. I read a lot of blog postings in my e-mail.
I'm trying to be better about commenting on people's blogs. Too often, I read things and think, "That is great!" and then don't ever tell the person that I appreciated it. I'm going to be more intentional about that. 🙂
Thanks so much Donloyn for your sweet comment.
And I read your blogs because they are witty……and charming…….and insightful……and convicting……and because you are YOU therefore I know I will enjoy them!
Thanks Vickie!
I love to write – I don't know if I would blog as much if I didn't have comments motivate me to keep doing it. I know the comments sure help with the UBC daily challenge! I do write in other places though – I will always write! It's what I do!